Happy Father’s Day  to all the persons who have raised children. I do hope you all have a great day and feel thankful for the contributions you have made to the next generation.

Genesis 21:8-21 tells the story of Abraham and Hagar with two examples of fatherhood.
Firstly we see Abraham, who chooses between his sons. If we look at what we know about Abraham we recognize that he does what he understands to be in his best interest. When he went to Egypt and the Pharaoh wanted to have relations with his wife Sarah, Abraham did not stand up for her because he may have been killed. One might say she was property but the other man did not see her as such.

In Genesis 18:1-15, we see Abraham running to greet three men and inviting them into his tent before any other person could offer the same hospitality. Hospitality was a big thing. These early tribes lived in groups so it was unlikely that Abraham would have been the only head of household. Traders and other nomads would often come in contact with semi-nomads like Abraham from time to time. Semi-nomads because they did not always stay in one place. They moved as there was land to graze the animals and grow grain. These persons often left parting gifts for the hospitality or extended a blessing. And they sure did, they blessed Abraham with a son. but Sarah laughed.

Abraham’s need for an heir was so strong, he spoke to God about it. He desperately wanted to leave his inheritance to an offspring, but he had none. Sarah too wanted to take shame of barrenness out of her own eye. Sarah and Abraham decided that the Egyptian slave girl Hagar would be the surrogate. She had the child. While she was pregnant, she ran away because they treated her badly. God convinced her to go back. She had the child and for a while everybody was happy. Sarah then became pregnant sometime after. Sarah was not having Ishmael share in Abraham’s wealth. She saw both children playing one day, the older laughing and teasing the younger as children often do, particularly when one is a little older than the other. Ishmael, was sixteen (16) and Isaac about three (3) as that was the time of weaning according to their custom. Sarah was having none of it. Neither the rough playing nor was Ishmael going to inherit what was rightfully hers. The word and tense used could also mean that Ishmael was always mocking Isaac, allowing Ishmael’s actions to be interpreted as abusive, but it was not so. She forced Abraham to send them away. Verse 9-10 tells us ‘when Sarah saw the son, Hagar (the Egyptian girl) bore for Abraham laughing and teasing her son. She became jealous and demanded of Abraham: Throw this slave woman and her son out right now! The son of this slave is not going to share the inheritance along with my son, Isaac, if I have anything to do with it!’

In Chapter 15:19 God tells Abraham that the covenant and promise of nations comes through Sarah’s son Isaac and not Ishmael. Sarah does not seem to know this and so she thinks Ishmael threatens what is due to Isaac. All children were inheritors once they were recognized by the father. Further if a slave bore children she was not to be sold or expelled.
For a peaceful life Abraham sends them away. God tells him not to worry because He would take care of Hagar and Ishmael. What grabs me though is that Abraham sends them away with literally nothing. Where they lived was not like the Jamaican countryside where there were fruit trees growing wild or untended, no banana to cut off a hand. Abraham sent away his son with only a loaf of bread and a container of water into a deserted place. Some translations say a skin of water – a pouch made from animal skin, or maybe a bladder. They left with very little to sustain them. It may have been enough to get her to the next water hole or set of tents but certainly not enough to get her to her homeland Egypt. Ishmael was left to the mercy and kindness of others.

Does Abraham’s personality look or sound familiar to you?

How many times do we know of men having children, only to abandon them when their wife finds out?

How many times have you heard of a current woman preventing a man from looking after the children he had before she and her children came along?

How many times have we heard of men giving their children less than what they need to survive?

Let me say this. Its not only men who treat their children badly, women do it too.

While we bear these things in mind we will not dwell on them, because there is another father in the story. One we know very well. God! God is the Father of all fathers. The story of Abraham and Hagar points to the caring character of God. God was with both families. God kept his promise to Abraham while at the same time, God never left Hagar and Ishmael. Ishmael grew into a well-adjusted adult. We are told He and Isaac buried their father together.

When we talk about God being father, we aren’t talking about him in the earthly sense of Fatherhood. God is father because he created the world and we with him are co-creators. It therefore means that we should be looking to take on the character of God. The person-hood of someone who cares despite the situation. When Abraham and Sarah took things into their own hands, God did not abandon them, but in time, what God had promised came to be. God found a way to bring into fruition what God wanted.

Even while Hagar was considered property by Abraham, to be used as he felt, and thrown away when she no longer had use, God did not abandon her. Can you imagine what would have happened if soon after Ishmael was born Sarah became pregnant? Hagar would have been sent away with a young child who would not have been easy to care for?

On this Father’s day what characteristic do we need to hone for better family life and community. From our story I would say Compassion and commitment. With all of Abraham’s missteps God had compassion on him. We too should strive to be people who have compassion. Many times persons find themselves in situations and cant even figure out how they reached there. There is a young man who lives somewhere in Manchester. He came one evening for help to make a decision, – To go to town or stay in Manchester. He had a job in Kingston, lost it and has been spiraling downhill ever since. His question was not why me. But ‘how did I reach here?’ He has no mother, no father but an aunt who allows him to live rent free. His parents abandoned him a long ago. He says nobody speaks to him. And when he tries to engage other people he wonders if they think he is mad, because of their response. God accepts people as they are. God does not judge, God does not decide who they are or what they will do based on what they have done before. God has compassion.

Compassion according to the dictionary means having a sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. That’s God. That’s what Fathers do. They make sure their children are alright. That they are in a good place. Sometimes we don’t like their methods, but they usually are acting in our best interest. God always acts in our best interest. He shows us opportunities to live our best lives just as he showed Hagar the watering hole. Poor soul dehydrated and hungry, she couldn’t see straight. She though she was going to die, but God kept her. He didn’t let go. He doesn’t let us go either.

We very often focus on what is happening in the world outside our families our households. But fathers day is about family. Its about acknowledging our parents particularly our father. With 45% of our households being female headed, we have one parent acting in both roles. Being a father does not have anything to do with reproductive organs or the gonads God gave us when we were born. It has to do with being an individual that nurtures in a way that compliments Mother. A father is usually the disciplinarian. A common phrase in Jamaica was ‘wait till yu father come’

Yes the task of living as a youngster in a father-child relationship is sometimes painful. We don’t always react as expected. For some, our father annoy us with their strong sense of self and how they want us to be. We resent it. Oh yes! We cry for hours, thinking bad things and being sorry at the same time. We feel hate this minute sometimes even to the point where we think we would be better off if they were dead or absent from your life. But there is love lurking at the back of our minds. We don’t quite get it, that Dad wants the best for us. He wants us to have what he didn’t, particularly if he is able to afford more than his parents. Hopefully in time we will all get to that understanding.

Then there is Dad who doesn’t understand that we have to be our own person and literally crushes us. He wants us to be all that he wasn’t. we have a difficult time conforming. Its painful.

Some constantly long for their father to talk to and with them; and not at them, to do things with them. Sometimes these fathers live in the same home, but they don’t understand the role they should be playing. Many believe that by providing physical things is enough. There is little or no emotional support or spiritual guidance. There is no, what we call, quality time spent with the children. We miss out on a bond that we later wish we had.

But life doesn’t have to be that way.

A father is usually the one who while protecting, allows you to explore and find yourself. Dad is usually not as fearful of the world as Mom. It is said that ‘the presence of a loving father greatly increases a child’s chances of success, confidence and resilience’. This confident successful resilient person is who we are all sent into the world to be. But we cant be that person if we do not open ourselves to understanding what is happening. If we always choose to have our own way like Abraham. God told Abraham he would father nations through Sarah, but he was willing to give her away to another man, and to have a child by another woman.

God shows us the way. God sent Jesus to show us the way. We have all the prophets, the disciples, the early Christian communities, the early church fathers, even our own parents, who have shown us how to father others. The church has always used a method of discipleship of showing compassion as Jesus did.

We, God’s children have a responsibility to our family and community to nurture others as God nurtures, filling in the gaps that will make for wholesome well adjusted individuals. We must have a father’s compassion for all. It is the Jesus way. I do hope we can all find it in our heart to be compassionate and father-like, Godlike in our behaviour to others. (June 21, 2020) #proper7YearA