We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,– Ephesians 4:14-15

How true is this passage in today’s world!   Persons are easily offended and would prefer to fool themselves rather than hear the truth. Many of us speak without thinking how what we say will be received. Truth is often diluted or couched so one has to read between the lines to understand what is being said. These days we even have alternate truth. Paul tells the Ephesians that they and by extension we are called to speak the truth clearly, yet with love and gentleness. We should know the poem called Desderata.  It says “Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story”. A lesson too many of us need to learn. Ephesians 4 reminds us that our words should reflect both honesty and grace. We spoke about grace as giving to others undeserved favour.  We cannot be dishonest and seek to twist words in an effort to get what we want and our words should be used to hurt others.

The passage comes from a chapter that begins and end with exhortations to forgive and love one another, striving for unity and balanced relationships. When we speak the truth without love, it can wound others and push them away. On the other hand, to not say what is true or to twist it is to depart from the foundation of God’s Word. This leads many times to compromise. Before you know it we have strayed and are wondering what has happened.  Paul encourages us to be balanced as we offer correction, encouragement, or wisdom. We must build our relations rather than tear down them down.

This requires emotional and spiritual maturity. Remembering that life is not always about us, but it is always about the greater good. Paul says we must grow. We are adults we should not behave like children. But this requires us to open ourselves to self-examination. To look at how we receive criticism and how we give criticism. To see where we are missing the mark. So telling and receiving truth in love is only reinforcing what we have already reflected on, what we already know about ourselves. We all know it hurts to hear it being said out loud. It is not an easy task to be vulnerable and to acknowledge when we are wrong and deficient. It is also not easy pointing out to somebody else something critical that they never noticed or chose not to notice. And we are called to be kind. We should consider how we would receive this same truth were we on the receiving end.  

To speak in love takes intentionality to grow spiritually and emotionally and to help others do the same. We need to go to God in prayer to help us. We need to talk to Jesus. Our words and actions must reflect our Christ-like nature.

May God give us grace enough to speak kindly at all times, and the wisdom to know how to share His truth with love and in love.  May Christ be with us, Christ before us, Christ in us, Christ over us. May God’s grace, be always ours as God’s Eternal Light, shine into our hearts, God’s eternal Goodness and God’s Eternal Power support us. that with all our heart and mind and soul and strength we may seek your face and be brought by God’s infinite mercy to God’s holy presence. Amen.