As I open my Lectio 365 devotions these words hit me. I start to think about what could be a forbidden desire even before I start listening the devotion for the day. Immediately I say to myself, forbidden means hidden. But is that necessarily true? I reflect with no particular passage in mind. I think of the many ways I would rather be. I think of things that I want but they cannot be mine. I laugh as I consider having champagne taste but only beer money

Forbidden desires also make me think of illicit lovers. This illicit love doesn’t have to be with another person. It suggests to me much more than that. The things we are addicted to, even while we do not call them addictions. The things which we should not indulge in, yet we cannot help ourselves. The things which we do in excess or things we take to the extreme.

Each time I go to the supermarket and I am not leaving with a piece of chocolate. Or the fact that I have been known to eat a whole quart of Rocky Road ice cream in one sitting or an extra piece of some pastry that tasted too good to only have one piece. I think about the books by Danielle Steele that I pre-ordered, but have not read because once I start I am not going to put it down until I am finished reading. This means I cannot function the next day.

We all have these things that give us so much pleasure, that we are very often not willing to settle for just a small piece of it. I think of a friend who delights in someone at work. They are what he calls kindred spirit and he wonders if he is committing adultery by spending so much time with them. His guilty conscience he says makes him want to spend every free moment with his family. Weird logic. But it works for him and his wife is loving it. What is really going on in his head we may never know.

What I do believe is that we should try to never make our desires so overwhelm us that we miss out on living a balanced life. Shakespeare wrote “if music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die”. He in his love struck state believed we should indulge till we no longer have the desire. It should never be that we become focused on one thing that we close our minds to everything else. We should always be able to see something else besides what is directly in front of us. It is why I believe Jesus went by himself to be alone with his own thoughts and God. Remember when he had the discussion with the disciples in Mark 6:30-31 and they told him all about what they had done in their ministries. They were so excited and chatted so much Jesus realized they needed a respite. They needed to truly reflect on what had happened and so he carried them to a place of quiet.

Forbidden desires should also cause us to reflect. We should think about what it is that we really want out of life. We should reflect on what giving into them will mean for the future. Do they mess with us or do they set us straight. Each of us must answer this for ourselves. Socrates said “an unexamined life is not worth living” He is suggesting that a life without self-reflection and analysis of one’s actions and beliefs is not truly worth living as we should always be evaluating our choices and values to live a fulfilling life.

The Henri Nouwen Society published this prayer today which I do believe is timely with me so easily distracted by the words Forbidden Desires.
Speak Gently in my Silence, “Dear Lord, Speak gently in my silence. When the loud outer noises of my
surroundings and the loud inner noises of my fears keep pulling me away from you, help me to trust that you are still there even when I am unable to hear you. Give me ears to listen to your small, soft voice saying: “Come to me, you who are overburdened, and I will give you rest ….. for I am gentle and humble of heart.” Let that loving voice be my guide. Amen.”

May we always return to quieting our hearts and souls when forbidden desires overtake our thoughts. May we be disciplined enough to have self restraint. May God’s loving voice be our guide.