As I was recording Compline this morning, I read the passage from Isaiah 53. It suggests that keeping the fast meant that we should feed the hungry and clothe the naked. I am burdened knowing that one of my own does not eat every day. She is not close by me, and I really would like to be able to get her a meal everyday. As people say the heart is willing, but the flesh is weak. I am unable to do this. I cannot get a commitment from others to ensure that she gets at least 1 meal a day. I can see why people dismiss things like this. They often say it is not their business. Every time I think about it, I feel a physical pain in my chest.

A friend sent me 1Chronicles 29:14 this morning. It is also sitting with me. “But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this?” David is asking the people for resources to build the temple. He will not build it. Solomon will. The community provides what is needed. He thanks God for the community’s generosity. My people are generous too. If I ask for money, I would get it. But what I want to happen and what the lady needs is a meal every day. There is little generosity in the doing. 1 Chronicles 29:14 sits with me because it asks “who am I”. “Who am I that for my sake, my Lord should take frail flesh and die?” Who am I, that my compassion is only in my thoughts? Shouldn’t I be more than this? Where is my get up and go spirit? Where is my ‘help even when it hurts’ spirit. Shouldn’t this be the fast that I choose? The heart is willing, but the flesh is unable.
Nobody should live that way in the evening of their days. She gave her best to the church and her children. Now she is in need and nobody ensures she is looked after. As Christians, we can’t live this way. One of our own may not eat today and we go on with our merry business as if that is a normal way of life. She shouldn’t continue to live that way. We must look out for our own. When I speak, I get the advice “you know what we should do…” But who is the ‘we’ to follow through? Nobody wants to drive on the road to her house. In my head I say “talk is cheap and we really must do better. Who is the ‘we’ I want to do better? Where are they? I only see persons going about their business with no care for the next person.

“Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, … Is it not to share your bread with the hungry?” Today I weep for all who are physically hungry. I struggle, I wrestle with my inability to more.
I suppose we do what we are able and God does the rest. I keep praying that somehow God will make a way to ensure she has at least 1 meal for the day as I ensure that the church does its part.